I'm in a mood tonight... feeling pretty low and sorry for myself. I am just torn about my personal self (if that makes sense). There are days I feel like I have it together... my lesson plans are written, I have everything organized and ready for the day, the bills have been paid on time, etc. and then there are days like today. I feel like I have so much to do, and no motivation to get it all done.
I bought two books, Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen, and The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I bought them a month ago and have yet to start them. I also got a new Bible at Thanksgiving and have only done devotionals three days since then. I need to carve out that time for myself. I need to be completely alone to reflect and pray, so the times the kids are up won't work, and then my husband gets all nosy and bothers me, so it's been hard. I know they are excuses, but my life just seems so out of whack.
I also want to have some mom friends. I am so envious when I hear about other moms and their friends, the playdates, get-togethers, etc. I want that so badly! I am insanely lonely but don't know how to make the effort without seeming to barge in on existing friendships.
If you read this, thank you... knowing someone cares enough to read this makes me feel validated and meaningful on days where I seriously question my purpose for existence.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Just need to write
Posted by Kristin at 9:53 PM
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3 comments:
Came across your blog through a friends and what you wrote made me have one of those momments where it felt someone is feeling the same as I am. I have 5 children and I am in my final yr of uni. I am having one of those days where I cant get motivated and thats how I found myself reading your blog (sitting in the study hiding from my responsibilities). I am in Australia and it is school holidays it is 12:59 pm and I am sitting in my nightie thinking about hanging out the wet washing and the unmade dinner but cant bring myself to get motivated. I also missed church last weekend out of pure laziness and my daily prayer is suffering. I am not depressed because by tommorow I will be my usual busy must get everything done perfect self. Its like we have these days to reflect and recharge even though at the time we feel helpless. Hang in there, god bless, Alison
I could have written a lot of those things myself. *hugs*
Sorry it took so long to read this after you posted it! I have a hard time getting on here to check blogs. I am usually on here for school!
I totally understand where you are coming from! Take baby steps and you will be where you feel you need to be! Hugs!!!
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